


Deceit Controls

by Littlebicosplayer



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, sandersides
Genre: M/M, Sandersides - Freeform, Sanderssides - Freeform, thomassanders - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2019-12-18 17:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18254948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlebicosplayer/pseuds/Littlebicosplayer
Summary: After Virgil leaves the Dark Side of Thomas’ mindscape to join the Light Sides, Deceit snapped. His only friend had left him, and he wanted to get him back. After realizing he could shapeshit into they other sides and learns a new thing about himself and what happens to the rest of then when coming to the Dark Side, Deceit finds a way to get what he wants. His best friend back. But at what cost?





	1. Chapter 1

This story begins way before we knew about the Sander Sides and before Thomas noticed they were there. In the mindscape, there were two kinds of sides, the Light one and the Dark one. In the light one we could see Morality (Patton), Logic (Logan) and Creativity (Roman). While in the dark side we could see Anxiety (Virgil), and Deceit. No one dared to cross to either side. 

Now Virgil and Deceit had a strange kind of relationship, whether it was platonic or romantic no one exactly knows. Virgil refuses to say anything about it. But one thing was for certain, they were inseparable. They would always find ways to make the other smile or laugh. Whether is was making fun of the sides or just playing My Chemical Romance or the entirety of The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack at full volume, it didn’t matter. The Dark Side, may have seem empty, but they weren’t alone. They had each other. And that was all that they could ever ask for.

It all began when Virgil began to make Thomas more anxious. 

“What if that person you just talked to think’s you’re weird for what you said? They probably think you’re annoying” He would say.  
Both him and Deceit could sense the lighter sides trying to make it better. They could only laugh. 

“Oh Virge that was TOTALLY not funny at all. It will CERTAINLY help Thomas sleep tonight” Deceit told him.  
“Eh this is what I’m the best in, might as well take advantage of it” Virgil shrugged with a half smile on his face. They both suddenly heard Thomas start a new video, and Virgil came up with an idea. “Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if I went out there to scare him and the other sides at least a bit?”  
“I think that is a TERRIBLE idea and should NOT do it” Deceit said with a smirk, Virgil returned the smirk.  
“Sweet, I’ll be right back then. Let’s see how this will end” And with that said, he sunk down and appeared at Thomas’ stairs. 

After some time Virgil returned, gritting his teeth, hood covering his face and muttering through his teeth.  
“What happened to you? You TOTALLY DON’T look awful AT ALL” Deceit asked him hiding his concern.  
“Thomas really thinks he can get rid of me huh? Well he won’t” Virgil muttered mostly to himself. After explaining to Deceit what had happened, he came to a decision. “Maybe if I keep appearing when some of the Light sides are around and show them what I’m really about, they’ll realize that they can’t get rid of me, what do you think Deceit?”  
Of course, he had his doubts, but seeing the determined look in his friends face, he could not be against him.  
“I think it is an AWFUL idea and you should NOT do it” Deceit told him, which caused Virgil to smile a bit.  
“Thanks D. I knew I could count on you” Virgil said lightly nudging his friend’s arm.  
“Of course, we are NOT friends after all”  
It seemed harmless. I mean, what could possibly go wrong with that?

~~~~~~

Virgil began appearing in more and more videos, along with the other sides. Deceit could hear their arguing but then it faded down to some kind or resolution, some times against Vigil. When he came back to the Dark side of the mind scape, all he did was ramble on and on about everything that he had experienced. Deceit had heard it all multiple times.  
“That prince dude is so annoying, I swear it’s like it’s his hobby to make me mad” “Teacher dude is such a snobby know it all, like can he stop for like two minutes?” Virgil would often say. It seemed like his original plan was slowly fading. 

But one day, Virgil stayed in his room, blasting I’m Not Okay (I promise). Deceit knew something was wrong. He knocked on his door.  
“Virgil, are you NOT alright? I’m TOTALLY NOT concerned for you AT ALL” Deceit asked him. After a second. The music turned off and Virgil opened the door. “This was a stupid idea. They really don’t want me around do they?” He said almost broken and offended. Deceit could not understand why. Didn’t they just a few months ago be making fun of the sides? Wouldn’t they be the ones who would laugh at their goodie-two-shoes attitude? Of course Deceit didn’t say anything about it before. But now he thought he would finally listen.  
“Maybe this was a GREAT idea, the Light sides TOTALLY care for others and NOT just themselves. But we DON’T got each other, right?” Deceit said comfortingly and pat Virgil’s shoulder, knowing that he did not like hugs. Before Virgil could answer, they both heard a conversation coming from his room. Virgil growled and disappeared into his room. Deceit thought this was some kind of joke so he sneakily went into the room and listened in. He he heard a lot of arguing and suddenly, it began slowly decreasing. ’How are they getting along?’ Deceit wondered. Weren’t the Light and Dark sides supposed have some sort of rivalry? Either way, Deceit did not like it. He gritted hos teeth and disappeared from the room. 

After a little while, Virgil came out of his room, smiling a little, holding a drawing the Patton had made him. Deceit saw and raised an eye brow.  
“What happened to all the arguing, it TOTALLY DIDN’T sound like a wreck” Deceit asked, Virgil only chuckled a little, not looking up from the card.  
“Oh yeah, it was a mess, but it all worked out in the end.” Virgil said then finally looked up. “You know, these guys aren’t as bad as I thought. They’re just trying to help Thomas, like we are. But we have different ways of showing it” Deceit could not believe what he was hearing. Were they really trying to take his best friend away? “Specially Patton, I think he’s the nicest out of all of them. He even made me this card” Virgil finished and handed it to his friend. Deceit opened the card, it was so sickeningly sweet  
“This is TOTALLY NOT sweet of him..” Deceit mumbled then handed it back to him, knowing he would rip it to pieces if he held it for much longer.  
“Right? I mean, the drawing is pretty childlike but it’s cute. Anyways, I’m gonna put it in my notebook.” Virgil gave Deceit one last smile before walking back to his room. “Hey, maybe you should hang out with them too, they seem cool and they might like you”  
“DONT wait...we TOTALLY WERE NOT supposed to have a movie marathon tonight” Deceit changed the conversation by reminding Virgil about their plans.  
“Oh shoot, I totally forgot about that. Sorry D. Maybe tomorrow? You’re okay with that right?” Virgil asked rubbing the back of his neck. Deceit stayed silent for a short moment, then gave a quiet answer  
“Yeah, that’s fine..” He said, not using his code so Virgil wouldn’t notice he was lying.  
“Sweet, alright, goodnight D.” And with that, Virgil disappeared into his room. Deceit balled his fists and stormed off to his own room. ‘The Light sides really think they can take him away from me? Well..we’ll see about that..’ Deceit thought to himself. 

~~~~~~~

Deceit was pacing in his room, tightly gripping his sleeves. They couldn’t take Virgil away from him, they just couldn’t. He was his best friend, his only friend. And he wanted it to stay that way. “Ohh look at me, I’m Roman, I like singing for no reason and say I’m better than anyone else. Also I seem to hate Virgil but we still hang out sometimes” Deceit mumbled to himself. “Look at me, I’m Logan, I know I’m a know it all and I am not ashamed to say it because everything I say is right. I also seem to hate Virgil but we have similar interests” he then balled his hands into fists. “And now look at me. I’m Patton. I seem to be the only one that actually cares and likes Virgil. Maybe a little too much. I’m so naive and nice I don’t even know what adultery really is!” He then slammed his hands in a a desk he had with a mirror in frustration. “But there is no way someone can be that nice!” He finally looked up and was taken aback. He no longer looked like himself. He looked just like Patton. His scales were gone, his eyes looked just like Morality’s, he looked like the perfect doppelgänger. This gave him the perfect idea. It would take time to completely get it right, but it would be worth it in the end. 

After weeks of studying the mannerisms that Patton had, he thought he was finally ready to begin his plan. He knew him and Virgil were getting kind of close. And Deceit hated that. ‘This will all be worth it in the end’ he thought to himself as he shape-shifted into Patton. He cleared his throat and appeared in Virgil’s room without a warning, “Heya kiddo! Whatcha up to?” Deceit said mimicking Patton’s cheerful tone. This scared Virgil a but then relaxed when he saw it was just Patton.  
“Oh, hey Popstar, nothing much, just..hanging up posters. Better questions what are you doing here?” Virgil asked him curiously. ‘He gave him a nickname..?’ Deceit thought to himself but then shook it off and continued to play his part.  
“Oh nothing! Just wanted to see my dark and strange son!” Deceit said with a giddy chuckle. It felt weird for him to call Virgil his son. He definitely did not think all of it completely through. “By the way, now that I’m here, I wanted to talk to you about something now that you’re hanging with us”  
“Er, okay, what’s up?” Virgil mumbled a bit unsure as he hung up a new Nightmare Before Christmas poster.  
“So, now that you are basically a lighter side, Logan, Roman, and I have thought about somethings. And we all agreed that we should give you a make over!” Deceit said cheerfully, “I know you are Thomas’ anxiety and all but a little change here wouldn’t hurt! Starting off with better lighting! Oh and a brighter color of purple! Maybe instead of your black eyeshadow we could get something else to fit you better and-“ before Deceit could finish, Virgil cut him off, as expected.  
“Woah woah, hold on there Pat. Sorry to burst your bubble but I’m not really changing anything here. I like my space and style a lot, thank you very much” Virgil said, and Deceit could sense a hint of annoyance in his voice, which meant he knew his plan was working.“Oh come on, it’s not that bad of a change! We just want you to fit in perfectly so we know you are truly one of us! No offense but we really don’t need a dark side ruining our mojo, er, Roman’s words, not mine” that part broke Virgil. Was he really not enough to really be with the Light Sides. If Patton was telling him that, it must be true. But something didn’t add up. He then looked behind who he thought was Patton and saw the spider curtains behind him. He had not mentioned them once or tried to move away from them. And he wasn’t forming any dark eyeshadow marks either, even though he had been in his room long enough to begin to have them.  
“Pat, what is really going on? Or should I even call you that?” Virgil asked through gritted teeth. Deceit hesitated for half a second, was he being too obvious?  
“What are you talking about kiddo? It’s just me, your good ol’ daddy’o Patton!” Deceit said as bubbly as he could manage.  
“Really? Then why aren’r you scared of the spider curtains behind you?” Virgil questioned and narrowed his eyes at the imposter.  
“Oh they are just fake spiders, no need to be scared of such thi-“ before Deceit could finish. Virgil had pinned him against the wall and had a furious expression. That had done it.  
“Who are you and what have you done to Patton!” Virgil spat then hissed at him. Deceit’s eyes widened in shock, he had never seen this side of him. He immediately switched back to his original look.  
“Virge, DON’T calm down, it TOTALLY IS NOT me, Deceit” Deceit said going back to using his code and putting his hands on Virgil’s chest to keep him somewhat away from him. Virgil’s expression softened a bit then backed off two steps.  
“Why...? Why would you do that...? And where is Patton....?” Virgil asked between deep breaths in order to calm down.  
“Patton is TOTALLY NOT fine. But why DON’T you care so much about him? I thought we WE NOT friends?” Deceit asked but then gave up using his code, showing how frustrated he really was, “It was supposed to be just you and me! Deceit and Anxiety, the Dark Sides that made fun of these goodie two shoes and only needed each other. They are taking you away from me and I won’t allow that!” Virgil stayed silent, his bangs hiding his eyes. Suddenly, he began laughing. But it was a dry laugh.  
“Do you know how stupid and greedy and possessive you sound? You’ve been the one that has been pushing me away ever since I began hanging out more with the other sides. I can see it in your eyes, Deceit. You’re less and less interested on what I do unless it’s with you.” Virgil spat again, taking one step forward, “But I thought it was just my anxious thoughts getting the best of me. Because there is no way the one person I truly care about in this wrenched world is trying to get rid of me! But no, it’s the complete oposite. You just don’r want me around anyone else do you!” Deceit saw the broken and hurt look in his eyes. He had really messed up.  
“Virge I...I’m NOT SORRY AT ALL....I TOTALLY DID realize what I was doing and-“  
“Do you know how insincere it sounds when you use your stupid code? I don’t think you’re sorry at all. Maybe this really isn’y working out. We’ve grown apart...” Virgil mumbled  
“...what are you saying?” Deceit asked in an almost broken and tiny voice.  
“I’m saying, I’m leaving. I’m becoming a light side. I don’t need you.” He pushed Deceit put of his room and before slamming the door in his face, he lifted his jacket sleeve up to reveal a fidget bracelet Deceit had given him when they first became friends. He unclipped it with ease and lazily threw it at the floor. “And you better not touch any of my new friends. They have done nothing wrong. And leave me alone” and with a final slam of the door. They were over. They were nothing to each other now. Deceit didn’t know how to feel about any of this. He felt broken. Betrayed. ‘He thinks I’m the bad guy...I did this for him. For us!’ He thoughtbto himself “Fine. You want a bad guy? I’ll show you a bad guy” with a snap of his fingers, he changed his entire look, making him go from casual clothing to cliché evil villain. He picked up the bracelet and twirled it around his fingers.  
“Oh Virgil....you TOTALLY WILL NOT regret this..” he mumbled then headed to the deeper and darker side. Where he will plot something that will make Virgil and the Light sides know that he isn’t messing around....starting with the easiest side to control...Patton...


	2. Magic Mirror on the Wall...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of trying to appear as Patton for the second time (after the events of Can Lying be Good? And Selfishness vs Selflessness) and attempting to appear as Logan, Deceit decides to take a different approach. This time, he decides on starting out with Roman

 After Deceit’s first and second and third plan had failed, he decided to take a better approach. He spied on the other sides to spot any weaknesses or breaking points. Then he would take over. He started with Roman since he seemed like the least expected victim. He saw his insecurities.

 _How_ _he_ _lied_ _to_ _himself_

He seemed perfect. Deceit just needed to wait for the right moment to strike.

When he made sure Roman was alone, he decided to sneak into his room. He should have expected all the stars and Disney and Musical posters on the walls but still took him aback. He hid until it was the perfect moment to “offer his deal”

 

“Ooh look at me, I’m Logan, I think I am a smartypants and know it all and that I’m great. Puh-lease. I am the greater one!..right?” Roman asked himself then looked in the mirror. “Oh magic mirror on the wall, who’s the greatest side of all?” That seemed like Deceit’s cue

“ ~~It is TOTALLY NOT you”~~ He said in his code, causing Roman to turn to face him. Startled yet slightly offended.

“How dare you!— wait. You speak in lies don’t you? Did you just call me the greatest?” Roman asked as his expression softened

“ ~~Of course, you are the greatest side from them all. But no one can see it huh?”~~ Deceit asked almost curiously. Roman sighed and shook his head.

“Apparently not. No one seems to think so. I don’t think they even like me” Roman paused for a second then shook his head, “why am I even telling you this? You’ll won’t help me with this” he snapped

“ ~~Oh? But what if I did know a way I could help you?”~~ Deceit asked with a smirk, which got Roman’s attention. Was Deceit really helping him? He couldn’t be sure, after he pretended to be Patton a few weeks before he couldn’t really trust him. And Virgil did warn him about him. He seemed to know something the others didn’t but wouldn’t say anything. But then that confused Roman a little, if he was lying about not knowing a way to help him was he really helping him? Or was he lying about that too. Just that thought made Roman’s head hurt. He decided to go against his gut feeling and just trust Deceit, just this once. What could possibly go wrong?

“Fine. How can you help me?” Roman asked then crossed his arms.

“ ~~First, you need to come to the Dark Side with me”~~ Deceit said with a smirk, seeing that Roman was trusting him so easily.

 _How pathetic._

As he mentioned the Dark Side, Roman’s  skin became pale.

“The Dark Side? Why on Earth would I want to go there?! Even if you are helping me?” Roman questioned, now reconsidering his choises. Could he really trust him? He couldn’t know for sure.

 ~~”You want help don’t you? I can help you. You need to trust me. After all, I am the only one that thinks you are the greatest side.”~~ ~~~~Deceit smirked then held out his hand, waiting for Roman to take it. Roman hesitated. A part of him told him to listen to Virgil and not trust Deceit, ever. Knowing he tried to trick the others into thinking he was Patton, he could only assume that he was trying to trick him once more. Yet another part of him saw this as an opportunity to finally show the others that he was important. He always crossed roads if it wasn’t with Virgil, with Logan. They had very different views on what should focus on. Different priorities. And Logan always had to disagree on everything that Roman thought was important. It just didn’t seem fair that he would always try to get Thomas to acomplish his dreams but Logan had to show up to put in his two cents and ruin it. He had made up his mind. He sighed then turned to Deceit, with a determined look on his face.

“Alright. Let’s go then” Roman responded without any other second thoughts. Without hesitation, Roman took Deceit’s hand. They were both imediately taken to the Dark side. Roman noticed that it looked a lot like Virgil’s room, execpt with different stuff on the walls and slightly different colored lighting. It was more greenish instead of purple. If he was completely honest, he would say that the setting was certainly not what he was expecting.

 ~~“Come on, sit, before we begin, let’s chat shall we?”~~ Deceit asked as he walked over to a table for two. Fairly convenient if Roman said so himself. He walked over to it and sat across from Deceit. He knew that he shouldn’t talk to him. That he would be up to no good. Was he planning on tricking him? Was he just trying to find his mannerisms in order to be able to imitate him? Oh Zeus was HE next?!

” ~~Now before you panic, Roman, yes I can see the fear in your eyes, you have to understand that I mean no harm. Not to you, or the others back at the Light Side. I just want to help you.”~~ Deceit told him in a calm and comforting voice, which made Roman relax a little. He sighed and nodded as if telling him that he understood. ~~“Good, now tell me, Roman, what exactly is bothering you about this whole situation? Why did you allow me to help you? I know you all aren’t chummy chummy with me, so why did you trust me?”~~ Deceit questioned him as he patiently tapped his fingers against the table, waiting for Roman to answer. The question struck Roman by surprise. Why was he here? It took him a minute to collect his thoughts and finally express them through words. He took a deep breath and began explaining. 

“You said you could help me. And this wouldn’t be the first time you did this. Back when Thomas got the his call back but chose to go to the wedding instead, you were technically on my side throughout the entire thing. Because you’re right, I did want to go to the call back. I was willing to ignore the fact that we had to be somewhere else just so we could finally get our dream come true. Being in the silver screen.” Roman looked back dreamily but that soon turned into a hurt expression. “You were the only one that could really see that. But everyone else wanted against it..which made me feel bad and...I felt like the bad guy in this whole thing..” Roman trailed off as he noticed a few tears streaming down his cheeks. He tried hiding them by quickly wiping them off. Then he saw Deceit hand him a tissue, which he gratefully accepted. 

 ~~"You are not the bad guy in this, never have been, never will be. I'm glad that you decided to trust me with~~ ~~this situation. We both know no one could understand what you have given up so much just so they would take you seriously and so they wouldn't go against you."~~ Deceit sighed a bit then stood up from his seat. He walked up to Roman, who was clenching the tissue. " ~~Think about it, Logan thinks that everything you do is unreasonable and foolish. Patton may seem nice, but you don't know what he could be thinking. He was against you when wanting to go to the wedding or call back. And Virgil, should I even explain? You know that he hates you...so I'm all you got"~~ Deceit explained and walked behind his chair and smirked lightly to himself for a second but then went back to a pitiful expression. He could see that his words were getting to Roman’s head. Seeing that his eyes became more watery and some tears slipped down his cheeks. 

_He was slowly getting to him_

”I guess you’re right...” Roman mumbled as he wiped his tears away. He hated the fact that Deceit was right. He couldn’t have a decent conversation with Logan without feeling like an idiot, Patton could be hiding how he really feels about him just so he doesn’t hurt his feelings and Virgil he...he has always hated him. They never got along. Other than those few moments that they actually agreed on some things but that was after a whole argument had happened. Deceit really was all he got. “Where exactly are you getting with this though?” Deceit smirked and went back to his seat.

” ~~I have a proposal for you. I’ll be like...your squip. Except the book version not the evil controlling musical one. Only you will be able to listen to me and I will help you get around any bad situations.~~ ” Deceit told him with a smirk. “ ~~All I need for you is to shake my hand, trust me, and let my little friend here do the rest”~~. With a snap of his fingers, a small yellow and green snake that seemed to made out of light appeared around Deceit’s shoulders. Roman gasped and nervously bit his lip. What was _that_ going to do to him? He asked himself. Was he really going to trust Deceit? He was hesitant, but saw no other way to get what he wanted.

_To finally be taken seriously._

Roman closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Once he opened his eyes, he gave Deceit a firm nod and held out his hand. “Alright, I trust you on this” he said. Deceit’s smirk grew as he firmly shook Roman’s hand.

” ~~Thank you for trusting me. Now...Don’t. Move. A muscle”~~

“Wait, what-..” before Roman could finish, the snake around Deceit’s shoulders quickly slithered down his arm to Roman’s arm. It tightly wrapped itself around it and prepared itself to bite. Roman panicked and almost moved his arm to shove it away. But before he could, the snake bit Roman’s hand, its fangs piercing through his skin. Roman screamed at the sharp pain but it didn’t last long. All he could feel was a weird tingling sensation, almost like static, going from his hand, through his arm and to the right side of his face. As the snake vanished, so did the weird sensation. Deceit let go of Roman’s hand and just looked at him with a satisfied smirk. 

“ ~~I’m sorry about that, but there was no other way for me to do this. But now look at you, don’t worry, they’ll fade in a small moment~~ ” Deceit said as he handed Roman a mirror. Roman gave the other male a confused expression as he took the mirror. His eyes widened in shock when he saw that his right side of his face seemed to be covered in red/maroon scales. He was about to complain and yell about it but as Deceit said, they soon faded away. 

“What did you do to me?” He said, letting go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. He ran his fingers through the right side of his face, seeing the scales completely gone, as if they never were there. 

“ ~~I told you. I would be like your squip. This is the only form I could be able to help you. Now. You can’t tell any of the other sides about this. I won’t be able to help you if you do~~.” Deceit warned as he stood up and walked toward Roman. “ ~~Now come on, you’ve been away from the Light Side for too long. The other sides might get suspicious”~~ he held out his hand once again. Roman took it without hesitation and stood up. He was still in shock because of what had just happened. “ ~~I’ll be here to help you whenever you need me, until then Roman”~~ then as he snapped his fingers once again. Roman was back in his room. No trace of Deceit even being there. Roman looked at his hand. No bite mark. He sighed at sat in his bed, running a hand through his hair. 

_What had he just signed up for?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really hoping you guys are liking the story so far! Sorry for the wait, writer’s block is a pain. But be in the look out for the next chapter and have an amazing day/afternoon/night/ whatever time it is for you!


	3. Who’s the Greatest Side of them All?

Days passed after Roman made the deal with Deceit. As promised Roman felt as he was being taken a lot more seriously by the rest of the sides. At first, Virgil, Logan, and Patton were very confused and surprised at Roman's new attitude. Soon enough, Logan grew more accustomed to it, he thought he could finally have an actual conversation without any foolishness. Well, at least now with Roman, which he least expected but he couldn’t complain. At that moment, Patton and Logan were just having a friendly debate of whether or not Thomas should get a dog. A daily thing, really.

“All I’m saying, we  _could_ adopt a dog. We can easily go to the animal shelter, pick out a dog or five...” Patton continued his argument.

”Patton, we have talked about this. Adopting a dog is a lot of responsibility. Thomas is still trying to handle his own life. Taking care of a dog would be like taking care of a child. Must be fed, bathed, taken outside for walks, get vaccinated. And it can cost a lot of money,” Logan argued back.

“But..-“ before Patton could say anything else, Roman was the one to interrupted him that time.

”Pat, you know how much I would love a dog too, they are down right adorable. But! Logan is right. It is a lot of responsibility. Besides, don’t you want him to accomplish his dreams and do better job at taking care of himself first?” Roman asked.

This wasn’t too unusual. Now. Roman now had the tendency to jump in an argument and place his two cents in. Seems okay right? The thing that changed was the way he used his arguments. With logic and feelings rather than just focusing them on himself. And as much as Logan hated to admit it, he always seemed to agree with what he said. 

Patton looked at the two sides and sighed a bit but quickly hid his slight disappointment with a small chuckle, “welp Ro, you got got me there. It wouldn’t be Paw-sible for Thomas to do that and take care of a dog too” Logan groaned at the pun he had made, but Roman laughed a bit at it. 

“Exactly! For now, we can just watch silly puppy and cat videos on the internet until Thomas is able to properly handle one” Roman said with a smile. The argument stopped and they soon resumed to what they were doing before the argument.

One might think that the lack of real arguments and yelling would help Virgil. It didn’t. In fact, in unsettled him. This didn’t seem right. He was already getting so used to the real arguments that basically involved a kind of yelling, and Virgil almost going deaf a couple times, with a semi-well thought resolution in the end. But now it wasn't the case. It seemed a little too peaceful. It was calm, almost too quiet. And he didn't like that. Of course, he didn't want to say anything in case it really just was Roman trying to be better and was just letting his thoughts get the best of him and imagine the worse case scenario. He grumbled and pulled at the strings of his hoodie, hoping that really was the case. 

"Hey Judy Moody," Well at least Roman's insults towards Virgil hadn't changed up, "What's gotten you all up Gloomy now?" 

"Nothing that is your business, Princey," Virgil sneered at him the laid his chin on his arms, staring at nothingness. Roman huffed then stood in front of the hooded emo. 

"I know it might not be my business but I still care about you, and I want to make sure you're okay, " Roman said in a much softer tone of voice,which almost took Virgil aback. He blushed but then cleared his throat and hid his face deeper into his arms. 

"It's really nothing, just my thoughts getting the best if me again, that is all" Virgil mumbled 

"Well, if you ever need to talk to someone, you can come to me. I promise I won't make fun of you or anything. In the meantime, do you want to go see some cute animal videos with me and Pat?"

"Will there be spiders on there?"

"Well Pat's afraid of them so I doubt it but I think there should be bats!"

"Sold. I'm in" Virgil got up and have Roman a half smile, Roman smiled back and nodded his head towards the couch where Patton was eagerly looking up cute animal videos. Virgil was almost convinced that Roman really was just trying to be a better person and that it was really just his thoughts making him think that everything was going to go horribly wrong. It would take some time but he thought maybe, just maybe, he could get used to this new Roman. He sat to the Right of Patton while Roman sat by his left side. The three of them basically huddled together and watched adorable and funny animal videos. 

 Time passed and Pat and Virge had fallen asleep in the couch. Not wanting to wake them up, Roman took the laptop away and covered them both with two individual blankets, knowing how much those two hog any covers while asleep. He smiled and sighed to himself, walking to the kitchen to get a quick snack. 

"You know..." A voice behind Roman said, startling him. He turned around and saw Logan, his arms crossed and looked at him with a blank yet somewhat suspicious look. He walked past him and went to the pantry, grabbing a half eaten jar of Crofters. "As much as I like the new and sudden change of personality, I do wonder what caused you to finally make this change. Just 4 days ago you were having mindless arguments with Virgil and I with no case what so ever. Now I can't help but to agree on what your arguments and claims are. It is certainly unusual but I'm not saying it's a completely bad thing," Roman, for once, was left speechless. He knew that Virgil would be suspicious of him, but he had completely forgotten how cautious and attentive to detail Logan was. Now more than ever after Deceit's last visits. Roman tensed up a bit, how was he supposed to tell him that Deceit was helping him become this way? Or more like how was he going to tell him that Deceit is  _Involved_ in any of this. He couldn't. Because Deceit is a liar and the bad guy here. But now he was stuck in a situation where if he lied, he might seem suspicious, well, more suspicious than he now was. But if he told the truth, Logan would tell him off and be furious at him. Or whatever the equivalent of "furious" was for Logan. And he would loose all respect towards him. Still. Maybe if he told him the truth and explained the situation he was in, maybe it wouldn't be so bad?

_~~"Don't say anything"~~ _

Deceit's voice rang through Roman's head, catching him off guard. It sounded like a hiss echoing through his ears. It felt weird, yet oddly comforting. As if he should listen to him. 

"Ah, well, you see my dear old teach," Roman began, "I just thought maybe you were right about somethings" This seemed to through Logan off a bit. Roman notices as his eyes had widened a bit from surprise. "I can be I bit unrealistic when coming to serious situations, I just thought that having some high expectations and hopes and dreams for Thomas might be good for him. I realized that I was wrong" At this point, Logan's expression had softened just enough to make him look like he wasn't about to scold the heck out of him. 

 ~~_"_ ~~ ~~_Keep_ _it up"_ ~~

~~~~"Do..do you mean that? I won't lie, I am slightly surprised at that. I have to admit, while your change was sudden, I thought that maybe now we could finally agree on somethings and come to many other compromises on what's best for Thomas, having a good balance of logic and dreams." The corner of Logan's lips curled a bit, almost forming a smile. Roman almost sighed in relief, seeing that Logan didn't seem as suspicious anymore. He couldn't help but feel a bit bad, but there was nothing else he could say or do without looking guilty.

"I do mean it. And I do like the idea of starting off fresh and being able to work better with you and not against you," Roman said with a convincing smile. Logan nodded and finished his Crofter's Jar, putting the spoon in the sink and the jar in the recycling bin. 

"Alright, I want to trust you, and I want to be able to work better with you. Maybe tomorrow we could plan out something together for Thomas. It could be rather enjoyable for the two of us. Well, we should both be heading to sleep, unless you need to work on Thomas' dreams for tonight. In whatever case, goodnight," Logan adjusted his glasses and turned to leave. 

"Yeah, goodnight.." Roman mumbled then headed to his own room. He couldn't help but feel bad about all the lies that he had told. All just so he could finally get what he always thought he deserved? But was it really worth lying and possibly hurting his friends? He didn't think so. He went into his room and sighed, rubbing his hand down his face. This felt unfair towards the others. But what could he do now? Back out? He glanced at his mirror, seeing his reflection, externally he felt on top of the world, like he could finally do what he desired, but internally, he felt sick. "What am I gonna do?" He mumbled to himself still looking at his refection, what he didn't expect, was it to answer back.

 ~~"What? Are you actually considering telling them?"~~ His reflection asked. Roman gasped and almost screamed, but was stopped by his own hand. Wait. He didn't want to cover his mouth.  ~~"Woah, hey, chill. It's me. Well. It's also you. "~~ Roman took a closer look. It in fact, was him, but the only difference were the red scales on the side of his face, just like the ones that he had when he first made the deal with Deceit.  ~~"Now, I'm going to let go, and you won't scream, okay? We don't want any more attention now do we?"~~ Roman slowly shook his head,  ~~"Good, now, I'm letting go, in three....two...one"~~ Suddenly, Roman could control his own hand again. 

"What...the hecky heck, five nipples in a peck is this?" Roman asked, causing his reflection to look very confused, "How are you talking, wait...Deceit? Are you spying on me?!" He almost whispered yelled at his own reflection. Boy was he glad the rest of the sides were asleep, or else if any of them were to walk in, there would need to be a lot of explaining to do.

 ~~"No silly, I'm not spying on you, well, not exactly. I'm just checking in on you, I'm not going to be here every time you look in a mirror."~~ Roman's reflection-er-Deceit said, which seemed to calm Roman down a bit,  ~~"How are you liking your new change? Is it was you wanted? Is it so much better than you had hoped? Or....are you not satisfied with it?"~~

"No, of course not, I love it. It's just, Virgil and Logan were a bit suspicious of me, especially tonight. But, I was able to manage it, thank to your help" Roman told him, still feeling slightly weird. I mean, really, he's talking to his own refection, it sounds exactly like him except for the way of talking, but he knew he was talking to Deceit. But, he couldn't complain much, he was helping him nonetheless and he knew Deceit knew what he was doing, or at least he hoped. "Hey um, by the way, how did you manage to get into my head, back in the conversation I had with Logan?" Deceit stayed silent for a small moment, which unsettled Roman a bit. "Dee?" Deceit stiffened when Roman called him that. He cleared his throat then looked at Roman.

~~"R-right, that , you did promise to trust me no matter what when we made our deal. That snake that bit you was part of me, so I could sense what you were about to do. I had to stop you. What do you think Logan would have thought if you told him that you got help from me? It would have been a TOTAL disaster. Unless...you don't trust me completely..?"~~

"No! I do trust you! I just thought maybe, lying would have been the best thing to do in that situation...because lying is never good!" Roman knew the moment he said that, he had messed up. He flinched, expecting to be scolded for it what he said, but nothing came. "S-sorry, I didn't mean-" before Roman could apologize, Deceit interrupted him.

 ~~"It's okay, I know what you meant. You're right, lying isn't good. However, it's not _always_ bad. If you're trying to get yourself out of trouble, lying always comes in handy. Just like right now. You don't want Logan or Virgil to be mad at you and you don't want Patton to be disappointed in you. You've done everything in your power to be taken seriously and feel respected by the others. But nothing that you have done has worked, right?"~~ Deceit asked him, not really expecting an answer, or even giving him time to respond.  ~~"Exactly. You had to come to _me_ for help. You willingly accepted my help, because you could do nothing else. You know you're doing the right thing. It might not feel like it, but you are."~~ Deceit finished his semi-long explanation, leaving Roman speechless. He knew Deceit was right. He had to do what he had to do to finally get what he had always wanted. Wording it like that might made it sound like he was the villain and was doing something horrible, but he chose to ignore that fact.  ~~"Well, I'll leave you to it, Thomas can't cave good dreams without his good old trusty creativity, right?" If you ever need me, just call my name, and be sure to be in front of a mirror so I can actually talk to you, and I'm not just in your head, Ta-ta~"~~ And with that, Deceit was gone. Roman's reflection had gone back to normal

Roman took a deep breath and nodded to himself. He knew exactly what he needed to do, and that was follow what Deceit says. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy, he thought. Still, he would have to wait and see what happens to him, and the other sides to see what really will happen in the future. In the meantime, he had to go into the drawing board and plan out Thomas' next dream for that night. 

 

 

~~~~~~~

~~"I'm TOTALLY NOT glad that Roman following with our plan, this WON'T end well...I'll soon have control to all of the sides"~~

"Don't you mean,  _we_? I want to help to! You're no fun Dee~" 

~~" _sigh_ I DON'T know what I said. I'm NOT the one doing  _all_ the work here. But soon you WON'T be able to help me, but you DON'T have to listen to every order I give you. Is that clear~~

 

~~Remus..?"~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Long time no write. So sorry about that! And sorry that Patton wasn't included much in this chapter. There is a reason why, I promise! But you'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out what it is so stay tuned! I hope you guys are liking this story so far and I hope you have a great day/afternoon/night/whatever time it is for you! (PS if you're reading this late at night, go to sleep damn it!)


	4. Feelings aren't just Positive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter will focus more on Patton but it will also focus on more serious topics such as negative feelings and self-deprecating thoughts, unhealthy coping mechanisms (scratching arms/bitting hand) and a panic attack. This is more of a vent chapter but it goes along with the story so in any case, take this as a small trigger warning. If you’re not comfortable with this, skip this chapter, I’ll sum whatever happened here up in the next chapter and in the endnotes so it still makes sense

Patton woke up the next morning, stilled huddled up to the blanket that Roman had given him last night. Next to him was a still asleep Virgil, curled up in his own blanket. Patton smiled and carefully got up, quiet enough to not accidentally wake him up. He stretched as he walked to the kitchen to prepare himself and the other sides breakfast. He was disappointed to know that the only thing in the fridge was a box with a half-eaten pizza. He sighed and muttered something about Thomas needing to take better care of himself. So what he did, was made some eggs and uncooked bacon appear to prepare breakfast. He knew he could easily have made them appear already done but where was the fun in that? Other than the zizzling sound of the bacon cooking, it was really silent in the house, a little too silent. Usually, Patton would put some music on to break the uncomfortable silence, but Virgil was in the living room still asleep and he didn't want to wake him up, Patton knew how little he slept. And no one else was awake so he couldn't even have a conversation with anyone. So Patton was left there, in unsettling silence. That was never a good thing. Silence meant nothing to stop all the negative thoughts that were buried deep in his mind to come out. All negative feelings as well.

_They don't care about you_

He didn't like that, at all. He didn't hate it because hate is a strong word.

_They think you are too emotional_

But he really,  _really_ disliked it. He knew he shouldn't have these thoughts or feelings. Why should he? Nothing bad has ever happened to him. He was supposed to be happy.

_They think you are too childish_

But he couldn't. He really didn't like these feelings.

_You could disappear and they wouldn't care_

No matter how much he tried to focus on making breakfast, he couldn't stop all these thoughts and feelings. He didn't realize that he was scratting at his own arm until he looked down. Thankful that he was still wearing his cat onesie, he pulled his sleeve down. Lucky for him, Logan had finally woken up and was heading to the kitchen.

"Morning Patton" Logan said as he adjusted his glasses. His voice seemed to have snapped Patton off of his bad thoughts. 

"Good Morning Logan! How did you sleep?" Patton asked in his usual cheerful tone. Because that's what he had to be. Patton, the happy-go-lucky-guy that made everyone feel better and never felt or thought anything negative. 

"I slept rather well actually. It is always good to get exactly 8 hours of sleep, nothing more, nothing less." 

"That's good! Oh! I made breakfast! Want some? It's nutritional! And I think it's egg-celent for you" Patton giggled at his own little joke, though Logan only gave a small hum in response as he walked into the kitchen. 

"Yes, breakfast sounds good right now. A great way to start the day. Is there any orange juice?" Logan asked before reaching the fridge.

"No, only some old leftover pizza. You'll have to make some appear" 

"Hm. Very well." 

As Logan made some orange juice appear and got two glasses, Patton served both himself and Logan some breakfast. Patton felt more at ease now. Having the company of someone, especially Logan, was good for him, and his emotional health. He hummed a light tune and wondered when Roman would get up. He knew he was up late giving Thomas some good dreams, but he hoped he didn't stay up  _too_ late. He did, however, hope that Virgil would sleep in at least a little bit. It would be better for him, he thought. Soon after, Roman walked into the kitchen with a small yawn. He muttered a small 'good morning' and got a glass to serve himself some orange juice as well. 

"Good Morning Ro! Sleep alright?" Patton asked.

"I did indeed. After finishing u my latest dream, one I'm really proud of too" Roman finished his sentence with a small, sleepy chuckle, "And don't worry Pat, I didn't stay up too late. Maybe around 11:30 at most." 

"Ah! Alright good! Anyways here is your breakfast!" Patton handed Logan and Roman their plate. They both thanked him and walked to the table. Patton then served himself breakfast, got his glass of orange juice and joined them to eat. He could notice the difference in attitude between the logical and the creative side. They were talking about what they could have Thomas do for a video that day and planning ahead as well. Patton couldn't help but smile a bit to himself. They weren't bickering or arguing which he was thankful for. But as much as that made him happy, it also upset him. 

_Do you see that? They already are better off without you_

"Stop it" Patton mumbled quietly to himself. But the thoughts didn't stop.

 

 _You don't matter                                                             They don't care about you                                           You are a burden_

_They'd be happier without you                                                                They don't love you_

 

_**W h a t   w o u l d   t h e y   a l l   t h i  n k   o f   y o u   i f   t h e y   s a w   y o u   l i k e   t h i s  ?**  _

 

" I said stop it!" Patton finally snapped as he covered his ears. Logan and Roman immediately stopped their conversation and looked at the usually positive side in shock and concern. Last time Patton had gotten like that was when Thomas and the rest of the sides had gone into his room and interrupted Logan. But that time wasn't as bad as what was happening at that moment. 

"Patton, calm down, what's wrong?" Roman asked standing up and going next to Patton, Logan did the same. Neither of them knew what to do in that situation. To their rescue, Virgil had woken up to Patton's sudden outburst. He rushed to the kitchen and shoved Logan and Roman aside and knelt down next to him. 

"Hey, Hey, Patton, it's me, Virgil, you're gonna be okay. Alright?" Virgil told Patton, he could only whimper in response, "I'm gonna put you down the chair okay? I'm gonna put you down? Alright?" Patton whimpered again but now nodded aswell. Virgil carefully held the other side in his arms and placed him down. He gently placed his hands on top of Patton's and kept talking to him. "You're gonna be okay alright? Can you take deep breaths with me? We're gonna inhale for 4 seconds. Hold it for 7. And exhale for 8 seconds. Can you do that with me?"  Patton gulped but gave a small nod.  
  
Before he started, he gave Logan and Roman a look that said ‘go away, I got this’. Both sides understood and left to their own rooms to not overwhelm Patton more than he already was. Virgil guided him through his panic attack, making sure he wasn’t unintentionally hurting himself more. Patton’s breaths were still shaky however weren’t as short as they were at first. Virgil noticed that and continued guiding his breathing and reassuring him. He had no idea what caused him to have such a reaction but decided not to ask, not even after, in case he accidentally triggered another attack. It took him about 5 minutes to almost fully calm down, but for Patton, it felt like hours. Patton slowly took his hands away from his ears and slumped forward to Virgil’s chest, whimpering since he couldn’t manage to create a coherent sentence yet.

”It’s okay, I got you, Pat, I’m right here. You’ll be okay. You’re doing great” Virgil murmured as he ran his hand through Patton’s hair and rubbed circles on his back. 

“..thank..you..” Patton finally was able to mumble as he buried himself into Virgil’s chest, “I’m sorry..” 

“Don’t apologize, alright? You haven’t done anything wrong.” Virgil said as he held him a bit closer. 

“That has never happened before...I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It was horrible...I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t see anything...what was that?” 

“What you had just now is called a panic attack or anxiety attack. And yes, they are pretty bad, but you pulled through it, I’m proud of you” 

“Anxiety attack? Does that mean you get them too?” 

“Not as much anymore, but I do. I know how bad they can get and I wouldn’t want that to happen to you” Patton nodded and hugged Virgil tightly, “I got you, alright?”

”Alright...can you stay with me for a bit then? Until I can really calm down?” 

“Of course, come on, let’s go to the couch, more comfortable, can you stand?” Patton nodded once again and slowly stood up with the help of Virgil. They both walked to the couch and sat there, though Patton ended up laying on Virge’s lap. Virgil continued stroking the other sides’ hair to help him calm down. They stayed in comfortable silence for a while, the only noise being the gentle "shhh" followed by a small "I got you" coming from Virgil every time he heard Patton whimper. After a while, Roman and Logan slowly went into the living room. 

”Hey Patton, is this a good time? I don’t know but I brought you your favorite stuffed animal.” Roman said as he held out a small teddy bear

”Colonel Honey?!” Patton asked excitedly and held his arms out And grabbed the teddy bear. “Thank you, Roman!”   
  
“And I brought you some water too. It is important to stay hydrated” Logan said as he held out a small water bottle. Patton slowly sat up at took the water bottle as well. 

“Thank you guys, I really appreciate it,” Patton said with a small smile then wiped off the tear streaks that he had with his sleeve.

”You know we’ll be here if you ever need us, Pat. We care a lot about you” Virgil told him, which caused Patton to smile a little more. 

"I think I'm just going to hang at my room for a bit. If you need me, feel free to just pop in, heh," He chuckled dryly at his own joke but saw no other response. He slowly got up, teddy bear and water bottle still in his hands then walked to his room. As he walked up the stairs, he could hear the other sides talking 

_"I hope he's okay, the attack was pretty serious"_

_"Probably a bad day for him"_

_"I'm sure he'll get back up in his feet. He's Patton! He always bounces back"_

Patton was glad that his friends cared about him, but it still stung when they assumed that he would always go back to his 'regular' self no matter what. Yet, he can't blame them. He has kept that facade up for years, and just dropping it and showing it now would make everything so much worse. He finally reached his room and sat down on his bed and sighed. He had managed to calm down but he felt weird. He knew he represented morality and all feelings but even these were new for him. He didn't like them and he wanted them to stop. He wanted help. But he knew that he couldn't get help from his friends. Logan wasn't an emotional kind of guy, he could unintentionally make his situation worse. Virgil already had enough on his plate, he didn't want to make him feel worse or worry him too much. Roman would have been the nest best option, but since the past weeks, he seemed so busy and was spending more time with Logan. He didn't want to bother him. 

 ~~"It's sad, don't you think? You'd really think because they are your friends, or more like, your family, they would care more about you. Guess not. That is oh, so sad,"~~ Patton heard a familiar voice behind him, he jumped and quickly looked behind him.  ~~"Hello Patton, it is SO great to see you"~~

"Deceit? What are you doing here?" Patton asked then completely turned around to face him. Sure he knew that he shouldn't be talking to him, but he was curious, nonetheless. 

~~"Why, I just came to have a little chat with you. Or, am I just not allowed?"~~

"No! I didn't say that! I was just curious. Besides, I wouldn't have expected you to come to me to talk."

 ~~"Well, out of all of the sides, you have always been the kindest towards me. You've seen how Logan and Virgil are with me, and with Roman, it's complicated. I know we don't exactly get along but, you seem like you need to talk to someone, so I'm here to help"~~ Deceit said rather empathetically. His tone surprised Patton, he hadn't seen this side of him before. He still didn't know if he should completely trust him. 

"Well, something happened...earlier. And it was horrible...I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe, everything was too loud...and now I just feel gross and sick..."

~~"You had a panic attack"~~

"Yeah- wait, how do you know what that was?" 

Deceit stayed quiet for a small minute, then finally answered, ~~"Before Virgil came here when he was a Dark side, I used to help him with his panic attacks, which used to be fairly frequent. I learned to pick up a thing or two. Something important to remember, though, is not leave the person alone right after until they are almost 100% okay. Guess Virgil forgot that little detail. And it definitely looks like our dear Roman and Logan didn't know either"~~

Now it was Patton's turn to go silent. Deceit helping Virgil? He couldn't believe it at first, but then he remembered how Virgil and Deceit used to be pretty close. He could only assume that he would have helped with things like these. But now he could only wonder, how often did Virgil get those panic attacks? And how badly were they? Now he felt both sick and concerned, which isn't a good combination. Patton tightly gripped his own sleeve to keep himself from scratching at himself even more. 

 ~~"Now,"~~ Deceit continued,  ~~"You probably still don't trust me but if you want a hug, I have six arms that are good for comforting"~~

"Six? Don't you mean two?" He didn't. When Patton turned back at him, Deceit had held six arms out for a hug. Patton hesitated but still scooted a bit closer to him and leaned against his chest. Patton would be lying if he said he felt uncomfortable. He felt kind of calm and like he was finally listened to. It was a bittersweet feeling. Deceit was a Dark Side, and he was receiving attention and being listened to by him. While Roman and Logan were Light sides and they couldn't seem to understand him. Virgil was the only exception. He used to be a Dark Side but was getting better. Why was it always the Dark Sides that really understood how to comfort others and make them feel listened to? With, some exceptions of course... "Thank you, Deceit. This really means a lot"

 ~~"Please, call me Ethan,"~~ He told Patton. Deceit, Ethan, was shocked at himself and Patton looked curiously him.  ~~"Ah, that-that is if you want to, just thought you might want to"~~  

"No! Yes! I do want to. Thank you for trusting me with your name." Patton smiled at him and Ethan smiled back. "Who else knows your name?"

 ~~"Just Remus and Virgil, though Remus rarely calls me it and Virgil now refuses to call me that"~~ Ethan explained.

"Ethan...it suits you! I really like your name"

" ~~I'm glad."~~ He then paused as if to think for a small moment, making a small humming sound." ~~Hey, I know that you might not want it but, what if I told you that I could help you with your problems?"~~ Ethan's question, or more like his suggestion, brought up Patton's interest and curiosity. What could he possibly do to help him? And help him with what? His panic attacks, which he very much hoped he would never get again? Patton looked at him and looked at his expression, to see if he was messing with him or if he was being genuine. But what was said next, he could not have expected. 

~~"Let me rephrase that...What if I told you, that I can make all bad feelings...disappear?"~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary of the Chapter: Patton had a panic attack in the morning and Virgil semi-helped him out. Still feeling upset, he went to his room to try to calm down. Deceit appears and offered to help him out.


End file.
